What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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