The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
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My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize