Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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