He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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