you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
