Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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