Farmville is her only friend.
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize