so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
