Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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