Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
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My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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