forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
