o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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