I was born with a shot glass in my hand
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
