Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
