He asked to "fluff my boner.."
thus making me awesome and them whores
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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