fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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