Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
