the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
