If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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