how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
