THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
