look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
