tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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