i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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