I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
