she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize