You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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