i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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