Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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