I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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