So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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