I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
