I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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