we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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