So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
