Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
