No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
