he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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