I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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