everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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