I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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