you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
