Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
barbara walters just said penis...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
