Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize