'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
