my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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