she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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