i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
