is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
