Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
