I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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