goodnight i made you a song goodbye
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
