Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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