Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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