Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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