also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sorry about my life...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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